Are You a Good Communicator?
Part I
“ … every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof …”
– Matthew 12:36
Communication is crucial! Did you know that the number one cause of relational problems is communication? I must confess to you that I believe that my number one weakness is in the area of communication. I am aware of this and I am constantly working to improve my communication skills. You see, communication is not one sided. Preaching is one sided and my weakness is not in preaching, especially when I know that the message I am delivering is from the Lord. But I believe that in order to build healthy relationships I/We must learn to communicate? Why? Communication develops many healthy traits.
Remember that God has a great desire to communicate with us! That’s why we have the source of prayer and His written Word to help us develop this much needed trait. Let me share with you some truths that the Lord has helped me with as I have attempted to strengthen my communication skills.
HINDRANCES TO COMMUNICATION
· FEAR
ü We may fear rejection of our opinions, thoughts, words, etc. from the person to whom we are attempting to communicate with.
ü We may not trust the other person to be confidential, so we avoid addressing concerns or issues.
ü We may feel that the other person does not care and only wants to hurt us, so we fear the pain that communicating will cause.
ü We may believe that there is a lack of love from the other person or that the other person does not practice unconditional love. Remember I John 4:18 tells us that, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear …”
· SELF-CENTEREDNESS
ü We can be more concerned about being understood or getting our way in a matter than in the other person’s opinion or perspective.
ü We are immature in our value system. We have not placed top priority in building great virtues in our lives. For example: truthfulness, forgiveness, compassion, kindness, trust, understanding, etc.
ü We do not practice scriptural mandates. For example: Philippians 2:3 tells us, “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.”
· SELF-EXAMINATION
ü Very few people have regular self-examinations. The reason is very simple, immaturity and ignorance will lead us to believe that everyone else has a problem but not us. ☹
· A VICTIM MINDSET
ü We may think that we have nothing of value to say so we do not speak up.
ü We think that our opinion or words are worthless.
ü We have made previous attempts to communicate to someone and have failed, so why try again?
· WE DO NOT LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY
ü I Corinthians 13 teaches us the power of unconditional love. Verse 1 says, “Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not AGAPE, (unconditional or God-like Love) I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.” Then Vs. 8 tells us that, “Agape never faileth.”
· UNCONFESSED SINS
ü Sins like anger, bitterness, resentment, unforgiveness, pride, jealousy, and hatred will prevent healthy communications.